A conversation with Hon. Nixie Lam, Hong Kong Legislative Council Member

Nixie Lam is iconic in Hong Kong's political landscape, known for her fiery dedication to public service and her advocacy for women's rights. Yet, behind her public face lies a personal fight that resonates with many women in Hong Kong—struggling with fertility, managing a demanding career, and balancing it all with motherhood. In this candid feature, Nixie pulls back the curtain on her personal journey, revealing the vulnerabilities behind her public persona. She speaks to the heart of what it means to be a modern woman in Hong Kong, challenging the status quo and calling for a more compassionate, supportive environment for all women.

"Hong Kong's work culture significantly influences women's decisions about when to start a family… This emphasis on education and career advancement means that many women, particularly those who are highly educated and career-oriented, often prioritize their professional development in their 20s and 30s."

Written by: Jeremy Chapnick

Photos by: Raymond Chan

Navigating Fertility Challenges

For Nixie, becoming a mother has been anything but straightforward. Like many career-oriented women in Hong Kong, Nixie delayed starting a family until her mid-30s, a decision that led her to confront the challenges of fertility treatments. "I got married at 36, and after three failed attempts [to get pregnant due to miscarriage], IVF was my only available solution for a final trial," she shares. Nixie says her own experience with her IVF treatment opened her eyes to the systemic barriers that many women face, particularly the lengthy wait times in the public health system.

"In Hong Kong, it's likely that you will be in your mid-30s before you're ready to have a baby… Couples often face significant wait times in public IVF clinics—typically 12-18 months for the first consultation, followed by an additional 4-7 months for treatment to commence. This means that the entire process can take 2-3 years on average, necessitating advanced planning and effective time management," she shares. For women already contending with the ticking clock of fertility, these delays can be devastating.

"The public system is too slow to help. If you go to a private clinic, you don't have to wait for IVF... Private IVF services can be quite costly, often exceeding HKD 200,000, which can impose a substantial financial burden on families," she notes. The high costs make it clear that financial planning is crucial for those pursuing these options, a reality that many may not fully grasp until they are in the midst of treatment.

When time is of the essence, "the wait lowers your chance of having a baby. We need to see whether we can cut the lines," Nixie urges. "I believe there could be policies to support women to have better flexibility on their decisions," she notes.

The Importance of Mental Health

Nixie also highlighted how emotionally draining her IVF treatment was. In the interview, she shared pictures of the large needles used for her daily injections and the extensive medication she had to take while undergoing fertility treatments. She also recounted a heartbreaking experience when she believed she had miscarried again after her IVF attempt, yet she still went to work that day as if nothing had happened.

All of this emphasizes the importance of mental well-being and support during this difficult time. She notes, "Throughout this journey, maintaining mental peace is paramount. The treatment process can be long and fraught with emotional and physical challenges." Her experience underscores the need and importance of the development of comprehensive support systems, including counseling and emotional support, to help women navigate the intense pressures of fertility treatments.

She emphasizes the importance of community and offers sage advice: "To all the women in Hong Kong who are struggling with fertility issues or feeling pressured about their reproductive choices, I want you to know that you are not alone. Many of us have faced similar challenges and understand the emotional and physical toll it can take."

Policy Change: A More Supportive Hong Kong for Women

In the Legislative Council, Nixie is a passionate advocate for reforms that could alleviate some of the pressures faced by women in similar situations. One of the key changes she supports is extending the current 10-year storage limit for frozen eggs in Hong Kong. "The current 10-year storage limit for frozen eggs in Hong Kong is a significant constraint that I believe should be extended to 30 years," she argues. Nixie points out that the current limitation forces women to make life-altering decisions within a narrow timeframe, which can be both stressful and impractical.

Nixie also praised the positive legislative changes made since the 2023 Policy Address, such as providing tax deductions and increasing the public service quota for assisted reproductive services. Going forward, she hopes to drive policy that will increase the capacity of public IVF clinics to reduce the long wait times that many couples currently face. "Increasing the quotas for in-vitro fertilization (IVF) clinics and subfertility assessment clinic services within public healthcare institutions is essential," Nixie says, stressing the importance of making fertility treatments more accessible and timely for all women in Hong Kong.

Nixie's advocacy extends to financial support as well, suggesting that the government should provide subsidies for fertility treatments and increase the upper limit of tax deductions related to these expenses. "Providing subsidies to members of the public who utilize assisted reproductive technologies would help alleviate the financial burden associated with these treatments," she adds.

Nixie envisions a Hong Kong where women are better supported in both their careers and personal lives. She believes that changes in workplace policies, such as more comprehensive parental leave and flexible work schedules, are essential to helping women balance their professional ambitions with their desire to start a family. "The lack of adequate parental leave in Hong Kong [also] poses a significant challenge. The current policies do not provide enough flexibility for employees to balance their professional responsibilities with the demands of raising young children," Nixie explains. "Offering flexible work schedules would enable parents to better manage their time and responsibilities," she says, highlighting the need for more supportive workplace environments.

Her vision also includes a shift in societal attitudes towards women's health and fertility. Nixie emphasizes the importance of early education and regular gynecological check-ups to ensure that women are informed and empowered to make decisions about their reproductive health. "In contrast [to Hong Kong], places like Australia have a culture of regular gynecological screenings, including Pap smears, which help in early detection and treatment of potential health issues," she notes, advocating for similar practices to be adopted in Hong Kong.

"Hong Kong women are very career-oriented, but more flexibility from employers, such as allowing part-time working or helping with childcare facilities, would be useful… Rather than pressuring women to have children at a young age, it would be more beneficial to provide sufficient support and measures when they are ready and capable of starting a family," reinforcing the need for workplace policies that support women in balancing their careers and family life. She adds: "All this lack of support can deter women from starting families earlier."

"Additionally, promoting a culture of inclusivity and acceptance of diverse family structures and parenting choices is essential. Rather than pressuring women to have children at a young age, it would be more beneficial to provide sufficient support and measures when they are ready and capable of starting a family."

Nixie Lam Represents Strength from Empowerment

Her message to women in Hong Kong is one of resilience and empowerment: "It's crucial to have faith in yourself and to adjust your mindset. Remember that your journey is unique, and it's okay to seek support and take the time you need." Through her work and advocacy, Nixie hopes to create a society where women can pursue both their professional and personal goals without compromise. "I have been tirelessly advocating for stronger assisted reproductive measures both in the Legislative Council and within society," Nixie emphasizes. Her commitment extends to collaborating with governments, enterprises, and employers to create environments where women don't have to choose between career and family but can find a balanced path between the two.

But Nixie's message goes beyond policy changes. She is a strong believer in the power of mindset and support systems. "It's crucial to have faith in yourself and to adjust your mindset," she advises, reflecting on the emotional resilience required to navigate both career and fertility challenges. She advocates for a society where women feel empowered and graceful in their reproductive choices, knowing they have the support they need.

Her determination to improve the system for future generations of women, her call for a more flexible and supportive work culture, and her relentless pursuit of better reproductive health policies all serve as a powerful reminder that women can achieve their dreams, no matter the obstacles. It showcases the strength and resilience of women, and her ongoing efforts are paving the way for a brighter, more equitable future for all.